5 More Things Parents Wish They Knew About Eating Disorder Recovery
1. Schools Often Don’t Understand Eating Disorders
One of the most frustrating surprises for parents is discovering just how little many schools understand about eating disorders. You might assume that teachers, counselors, and administrators will know how to support your child—but unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Even well-meaning educators can miss the mark.
You may encounter:
Teachers who praise weight loss or “healthy eating”
Health classes that discuss BMI, calories, or dieting without nuance
Physical education policies that involve weigh-ins or food tracking
Rigid attendance policies that don’t account for treatment
Academic pressure to “make up” missed work despite medical leave
These situations aren’t just annoying—they can be harmful. For a child in recovery, a careless comment about weight or food can undo weeks of hard work. And when a school environment is inflexible or invalidating, it can add unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming process.
This is why so many parents wish they’d been more proactive with school communication earlier.
Here’s What to Know About Eating Disorder Treatment and School Support:
Eating disorders are legally recognized medical and psychological conditions. This means your child has a right to educational accommodations under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.
A 504 Plan can provide formal support like flexible deadlines, modified physical education, private eating locations, or permission to keep snacks on hand.
If your child has additional diagnoses—like ADHD, autism, or a learning disability—a full IEP (Individualized Education Program) may be appropriate.
You do not need to disclose every detail to school staff. A brief letter from your child’s provider stating that they are in treatment for a health condition that affects learning is often enough to get started.
Think of school support as an essential part of your child’s treatment plan—not an extra.
Parent Tips for Advocating in School:
Loop in the right people early. This usually includes the school counselor, nurse, a trusted teacher, and the 504/IEP coordinator.
Keep your tone collaborative, not combative. Most school staff want to help—they just may not know how.
Bring documentation. A provider’s letter or brief accommodation request can make a big difference.
Don’t wait for a crisis. Advocate before things unravel—your child doesn’t need to be failing to qualify for help.
Revisit the plan regularly. Needs change over time, especially as your child moves through different phases of recovery.
If you’re not sure what to ask for, here are a few examples of accommodations that have helped other families:
Eating meals in a quiet space with a trusted adult
Modified participation in gym or health class
Extended time on assignments or tests
Flexibility with attendance for therapy or medical appointments
Scheduled check-ins with a school counselor
Some of the best early recovery guidance for parents comes from understanding this: Your child’s treatment doesn’t end when they walk into school. Their environment has to support—not sabotage—the work they’re doing in recovery.
You may feel intimidated at first, especially if the school pushes back or seems uninformed. That’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be persistent.
And you’re not alone. There are support groups, advocacy organizations, and treatment providers who can help you navigate this. You have every right to expect a safe and supportive school environment for your child—just like any other student with a medical condition.
2. Social Media Isn’t Always Helpful
Many parents breathe a sigh of relief once their child unfollows toxic influencers or deletes calorie-tracking apps. That’s an important step—but it’s not the end of the story. Even content about recovery can be tricky.
In today’s digital world, social media is often where teens turn to make sense of what they’re going through. It can feel comforting at first—finding others who “get it” and learning new vocabulary for things they’ve felt but couldn’t explain. But over time, that same content can become overwhelming, confusing, or even retraumatizing.
Here’s What to Know About Eating Disorder Content Online:
Many recovery accounts (especially on TikTok or Instagram) include graphic symptom sharing or “before and after” photos, which can unintentionally spark comparison or competition.
Some content that claims to be recovery-oriented still promotes restriction, moralizing food, or unrealistic body ideals.
Algorithms often flood users with more of the same. If your child clicks on one ED-related video, their feed may become saturated with triggering content—whether they want it or not.
Oversharing in recovery forums can create a false sense of community that’s built more on shared symptoms than healing goals.
Even with the best intentions, social media is not a replacement for treatment, and it’s not always a safe space.
Parent Tips for Navigating Social Media in Eating Disorder Recovery:
Don’t demonize it completely. Social media is part of your child’s world. Shaming or banning it outright often backfires and creates secrecy.
Get curious, not controlling. Ask open-ended questions like:
– “What kinds of accounts do you like following?”
– “How do you feel after scrolling?”
– “Have you seen anything lately that made recovery feel harder?”Co-curate their feed. Sit with them and review who they’re following. Replace triggering content with accounts that promote body neutrality, mental health, humor, art, or non-diet living.
Set gentle boundaries. You might agree on screen-free zones (like during meals or right before bed) or take breaks from specific platforms if things feel overwhelming.
Name the comparison trap. Help your child understand that recovery looks different for everyone. Someone else’s timeline, weight changes, or food choices are not a template.
Normalize digital breaks. It’s okay to unplug during rough patches. Say something like, “It seems like this content is adding more pressure. What would it feel like to take a break for a day or two?”
It’s not about policing your child—it’s about helping them stay grounded in their own recovery process. This is one of those parenting moments where connection beats correction. If your child feels like you’re truly listening—not just monitoring—you’ll have more influence than you think.
And if you’re worried about specific content or behaviors, don’t hesitate to bring it up with your treatment team. They can help assess whether online activity is supporting or hindering progress.
Social media is complicated, especially in the world of eating disorders. But with guidance, boundaries, and ongoing conversation, your child can learn to engage with it in a way that supports their healing—not undermines it.
3. There’s No One Right Way to Recover
One of the hardest—and most freeing—truths parents discover is that there’s no single “correct” path to eating disorder recovery.
When your child is first diagnosed, you may find yourself frantically researching: What’s the best treatment? Which therapy works fastest? Should we do FBT, CBT, IOP, PHP? The acronyms alone are overwhelming. And while it's natural to want a clear roadmap, recovery rarely fits neatly into a single model.
Instead of chasing the “perfect” treatment, it’s more helpful to focus on what fits your child—and your family—right now.
Common Evidence-Based Approaches
Here are a few of the most common eating disorder treatment modalities, with a snapshot of what they involve:
Family-Based Treatment (FBT) – Often used for adolescents with anorexia or bulimia. Parents take an active role in refeeding and behavior interruption. This model can be highly effective, but it’s also emotionally intense and requires significant parent involvement.
CBT-E (Enhanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) – Targets disordered thoughts and behaviors related to eating, body image, and control. This model is often used for older teens and adults with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – Focuses on emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. Especially helpful for kids with strong emotional reactivity or self-harming behaviors.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Helps teens relate differently to distressing thoughts and internal experiences. ACT supports values-based action even in the presence of anxiety, guilt, or body image discomfort.
ARFID-specific interventions – These often include exposure-based work, sensory integration support, and cognitive-behavioral strategies tailored to fear-based or sensory-driven eating challenges. Kids with ARFID often benefit from providers who specialize in pediatric feeding issues or neurodivergent-affirming care.
Some kids need a combination of these approaches. Others need higher levels of care—like IOP (intensive outpatient), PHP (partial hospitalization), or residential treatment—before stepping down into weekly therapy.
There’s no universal rulebook. And what works at one stage of recovery might need to shift later on.
What Really Matters in Treatment?
Rather than focusing on the “brand” of therapy, consider the following:
Is the provider experienced in eating disorders? Not all therapists or dietitians are trained in this area. Eating disorders require specific knowledge—generic advice can be harmful.
Does the team collaborate? Providers should be in communication with each other—and with you. If your child’s therapist, dietitian, and doctor are all working in silos, that’s a red flag.
Is your child’s identity respected? LGBTQ+ kids, neurodivergent teens, and children of color often feel unseen in traditional treatment settings. A good provider affirms your child’s lived experience.
Are the goals realistic and flexible? Rigid “one-size-fits-all” treatment plans often fall apart. Good care adapts to your child’s needs, pace, and challenges.
Do you feel heard and supported as a parent? You should never feel dismissed or blamed. Your role matters, and your insight is valuable.
What If It’s Not Working?
Sometimes, despite everyone’s best efforts, treatment just isn’t clicking. Your child might be dreading therapy, stuck in cycles of resistance, or plateauing after initial progress. This doesn’t mean they’re failing—or that you are. It may just mean the current approach isn’t the right fit.
In that case, it’s okay to:
Ask for a reassessment or second opinion
Request a treatment plan review
Explore a different modality or providers
Step up (or down) to a new level of care
Advocate for trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming, or culturally sensitive care
Recovery isn’t about finding the right way—it’s about finding a right way for your child. That might take some trial and error. And while that can be frustrating, it’s also how progress is made.
Parents often feel pressure to “choose right” from the start. But flexibility, collaboration, and staying attuned to your child’s evolving needs will serve you better than chasing a single perfect answer.
What’s most important is that you—and your child—stay connected to a team that sees the whole person, not just the diagnosis.
4. Recovery Isn’t Linear
If you’re hoping for a clear, step-by-step path through recovery, you’re not alone. Most parents crave some kind of roadmap: First we restore weight, then we reduce behaviors, then we rebuild confidence… right? Unfortunately, recovery doesn't work like that. And that’s not a failure—it’s just how healing happens.
In reality, recovery is full of ups and downs. Good weeks, bad days, breakthroughs, backslides, and moments where everything feels stuck. That’s not a sign that treatment isn’t working—it’s a sign that the brain is learning and unlearning deeply ingrained patterns.
Imagine this path instead:
Progress ➡️ setback ➡️ progress ➡️ plateau ➡️ resistance ➡️ insight ➡️ new progress
Every twist and turn is part of the process.
What Recovery Might Actually Look Like
Let’s say your child starts eating meals more consistently. That’s a huge win. But then body image distress skyrockets. Or your child starts eating more variety, but becomes tearful or withdrawn in the evenings. These moments can feel confusing—but they’re also signs that the eating disorder is loosening its grip and that your child is starting to feel again.
Other examples of what nonlinear progress might look like:
One week of smooth mealtimes… followed by three meltdowns in a row
Increased emotional openness… paired with more irritability
Trying a fear food… and then refusing to eat the next day
Attending a party… but texting you the whole time in panic
Completing a meal plan… but obsessively body checking afterward
None of this means your child is “going backward.” It means recovery is asking them to stretch in ways that feel scary and vulnerable.
Setbacks Don’t Mean Failure
It’s especially hard for parents when progress suddenly stalls—or seems to disappear altogether. Maybe your child was making steady gains, and now they’re refusing food again. Or they’ve started engaging in old behaviors, and you’re terrified the whole process is unraveling.
Here’s what’s important to remember:
Setbacks are common. Most kids will have periods where symptoms resurface.
Relapses don’t erase progress. Every recovery attempt builds skills, insight, and resilience.
This is a long game. True healing takes time, and one bad week doesn’t undo everything you’ve worked toward.
Instead of measuring progress only by what’s not happening (e.g., no purging, no restriction), try noticing what your child can do now that they couldn’t before:
Are they more willing to talk about how they’re feeling?
Are they showing insight into their thoughts, even if they’re struggling to change them?
Are they bouncing back from tough moments faster than before?
Those small, often invisible shifts are what build long-term recovery.
How to Stay Grounded as a Parent
Watching your child struggle—especially after a period of improvement—can feel like emotional whiplash. One day you’re hopeful, the next you’re scared again. That rollercoaster is real. And exhausting.
Here’s what might help:
Zoom out. Instead of tracking every single meal or meltdown, look at patterns over weeks and months.
Celebrate small wins. They matter more than you think.
Hold steady. Your consistency gives your child something to lean on when everything else feels uncertain.
Validate the hard days—for both of you. “This is tough” is a complete sentence.
And most importantly, remind yourself: your job isn’t to control the outcome—it’s to keep showing up.
Recovery isn’t about perfection. It’s about persistence. And just by being here, reading this, learning more, and continuing to support your child—you’re already doing exactly what they need.
5. You Deserve Support, Too
When your child is in crisis, everything else can fall to the side. Suddenly, your energy goes toward planning meals, coordinating treatment, managing school, fielding emotional meltdowns, and constantly scanning for signs of relapse. Parents become case managers, nutrition monitors, emotional anchors, and advocates—all while holding their own fear, grief, and confusion inside.
And yet, when we ask parents how they’re doing, the answer is almost always: “I’m fine. I just want my child to get better.”
But here’s the truth: your well-being matters, too. Not just as a means to support your child—but because you are a whole person in this story. Eating disorder recovery is a marathon, not a sprint, and you can’t pour from an empty cup.
The Cost of Carrying It All
Many parents experience:
Emotional burnout and chronic stress
Increased conflict with a partner or co-parent
Guilt or self-blame over missed warning signs
Isolation from friends or extended family
Loss of their own appetite, sleep, or mental health balance
This is not a reflection of weakness. It’s a reflection of how heavy this role can be. Especially in early recovery, the parent often becomes the primary containment system for the eating disorder’s chaos. And that weight is real.
The Power of Having Your Own Support
Whether it’s a therapist, a coach, a support group, or a close friend who “gets it,” parents need a space to process what’s coming up for them—not just their child.
Things you might need help with:
Managing your own anxiety about food, weight, or control
Grieving the vision you had for your child or family
Navigating differences in parenting approach with a partner
Holding boundaries without guilt or reactivity
Making peace with uncertainty (because so much of recovery is uncertain)
Giving yourself permission to be supported isn’t indulgent. It’s strategic. The more resourced you are, the more regulated and grounded you’ll be when your child hits a tough moment.
Finding the Right Fit
You don’t have to go to therapy every week (though it can help). Support can look like:
Joining a Facebook group or online community for ED parents
Attending a parent skills group or workshop
Talking to a friend who’s walked a similar path
Reading books or listening to podcasts that remind you you’re not alone
Our free Facebook group, The Parent Support Network for Eating Disorder Recovery, is one place to start. It’s a judgment-free zone where you can ask questions, share worries, and learn from professionals and parents who’ve been there.
You deserve compassion, too. You deserve someone to ask you how you’re doing.
Let Go of the Guilt
One of the biggest barriers to parent self-care is guilt. You may think:
“I don’t have time for myself—my kid needs me.”
“I caused this somehow, so I should be the one to fix it.”
“If I take a break, I’m being selfish or neglectful.”
But none of that is true. Taking care of yourself isn’t abandoning your child. It’s modeling resilience. It’s creating emotional capacity. It’s showing them that recovery includes everyone in the family—not just the person with the diagnosis.
And sometimes, the best support you can give your child is to step back, breathe, and remember: You are allowed to be human, too.
Find Support For Yourself
No parent does this perfectly. There will be days when you feel like you’re falling short or saying the wrong thing. But recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, connection, and consistency. The fact that you’re seeking guidance, asking questions, and continuing to show up speaks volumes.
Remember, your child doesn’t need you to be a flawless expert. They need you to be steady, compassionate, and willing to walk beside them—even when the road is bumpy.
And you don’t have to do this alone.
If you’re craving support from people who understand, we invite you to join our free Facebook group: The Parent Support Network for Eating Disorder Recovery. It’s a space for encouragement, education, and community—because helping your child recover is hard, but it’s a lot easier when you’re not doing it in isolation.