What Causes Eating Disorders? Understanding the Many Factors Behind Your Child’s Struggle
One of the hardest and most heartbreaking questions parents often ask is: “How did this happen to my child?” When your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder, it’s natural to want to understand the cause. But eating disorders are not caused by one single thing. They’re complex illnesses that develop from many different factors coming together, including biology, psychology, environment, and culture.
In this blog post, we’ll break down the many factors that can contribute to the development of eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). Our goal is not to place blame, but to help you better understand the “why,” so you can feel more grounded and equipped to support your child through recovery.
Eating Disorders Are Multifaceted And Have Overlapping Causes
It’s important to start with this: no one causes an eating disorder; not the child, not the parents, and not one specific event. These illnesses develop through a combination of risk factors that interact over time. Understanding this complexity helps reduce shame and allows families to move forward with compassion.
The most common eating disorders include:
Anorexia nervosa – characterized by restriction of food intake, intense fear of gaining weight, and distorted body image.
Bulimia nervosa – marked by cycles of binge eating followed by compensatory behaviors like purging, fasting, or over-exercise.
Binge eating disorder – involves recurrent episodes of binge eating accompanied by a sense of loss of control and significant distress.
ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) – characterized by restrictive eating that is not driven by body image concerns, but by sensory sensitivities, fear of choking, or lack of interest in food.
Each diagnosis can stem from different contributing factors, but many risk factors overlap.
Eating Disorders Look Different Depending On Age
Eating disorders don’t always look the same in every child or teen. In younger children, symptoms might include extreme pickiness, refusal to eat certain textures or colors, or anxiety about trying new foods. They may not express concerns about weight or appearance, but still experience significant distress around eating. In adolescents and young adults, eating disorders more commonly include body dissatisfaction, dieting behaviors, and changes in social behavior, like avoiding meals with friends or excessive focus on exercise.
It’s important to know that eating disorders can be present even when the signs don’t match traditional stereotypes. If your child’s relationship with food, body image, or control seems to be affecting their wellbeing, it’s worth exploring further with a professional.
What Are The Biological and Genetic Risk Factors For Eating Disorders?
Research shows that eating disorders have a strong genetic component. Having a family history of eating disorders, anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive traits increases the likelihood of developing an eating disorder. Genetics influence how a person responds to stress, how they regulate emotions, and even how their brain perceives hunger, fullness, and reward.
Brain imaging studies show that individuals with eating disorders may process body image, reward, and self-regulation differently. This means that the way their brains respond to food, emotion, and decision-making may be fundamentally different from those without eating disorders. For example, people with anorexia often show increased sensitivity to control and punishment, so they may feel more internal reward from restricting or following rules, and heightened distress when facing uncertainty or failure. In contrast, individuals with bulimia or binge eating disorder may show increased activity in brain regions related to reward and impulsivity, making them more likely to seek short-term relief or pleasure through food, even if it leads to guilt or shame afterward. These neurobiological differences don’t cause eating disorders on their own, but they can make someone more vulnerable to developing disordered behaviors in response to stress, trauma, or restriction.
These traits are not flaws, but are temperamental features that, in the right (or wrong) environment, may increase a person’s vulnerability.
The Psychological and Personality Traits Of Eating Disorders
Certain personality traits and psychological tendencies are commonly seen in individuals with eating disorders:
Perfectionism – the need to do things exactly right, avoid mistakes, or meet high internal standards.
Black-and-white thinking – seeing things in extremes (e.g., “healthy” vs. “unhealthy,” “good” vs. “bad”).
High sensitivity to criticism or failure
Low self-esteem or sense of identity
Harm avoidance – extreme discomfort with uncertainty or taking risks
These traits don’t guarantee that a child will develop an eating disorder, but when combined with stress, life changes, or environmental pressures (like a move, loss, or social conflict) they can create a perfect storm. For example, a perfectionistic child going through a big school transition may begin restricting food as a way to cope with anxiety or regain control. Over time, this coping mechanism can become reinforced by internal reward systems and external praise, making it harder to recognize as a warning sign until it becomes more entrenched.
Trauma Can Be A Causal Factor In Eating Disorders
While not everyone with an eating disorder has a trauma history, many do. Trauma can include:
Emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving
Bullying, especially weight-based teasing
Medical trauma (e.g., GI procedures, choking, forced feeding)
Physical or sexual abuse
Loss of a parent or loved one
For children with ARFID, traumatic experiences related to eating such as choking, vomiting, or painful medical conditions can often trigger long-lasting food avoidance.
Eating disorder behaviors can emerge across all diagnoses as a way to self-soothe, regain a sense of control, or numb emotional pain. In ARFID, these behaviors may instead function to avoid discomfort, fear, or sensory overwhelm.
How Social and Cultural Pressures Can Cause Eating Disorders
We live in a culture that glorifies thinness, moralizes food choices, and idealizes control. From a young age, kids are exposed to:
Diet culture messages at school and in media
Fitness or wellness trends that frame restriction as “discipline”
Social media images that promote unattainable beauty standards
Peer comparison around appearance, food, and exercise
These messages don’t directly cause eating disorders on their own—but for children who are biologically or emotionally vulnerable, they can reinforce harmful beliefs and become a powerful trigger for disordered eating behaviors.
Athletes, dancers, and performers may be especially at risk when their environment or their sport emphasizes weight control, body appearance, or performance tied to physical standards.
Neurodivergence and Sensory Sensitivities In Eating Disorders
Many children with ARFID, and some with anorexia, have neurodivergent traits, including autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, or sensory processing challenges. These kids may:
Struggle with textures, smells, and mixed foods
Feel overwhelmed by the unpredictability of meals
Crave routine, sameness, and predictability
Have difficulty expressing hunger or satiety cues
For ARFID, restriction is often rooted in fear or sensory discomfort, not a desire to lose weight, but it can still seriously impact a child’s health and relationship with food. Kids with ARFID are often misunderstood or mislabeled as “picky” when they are actually experiencing high levels of fear or sensory overwhelm.
Dieting and Restriction as a Trigger For Eating Disorders
While dieting is often framed as harmless or even healthy, it is one of the most common precursors to eating disorders, especially in adolescents.
Whether it’s intentional calorie cutting, intermittent fasting, or trying to “eat clean,” restriction can quickly spiral into disordered behaviors. This is particularly dangerous for kids who are already biologically or temperamentally vulnerable.
The initial “success” of dieting (praise, weight loss, feeling in control) can reinforce the behavior and mask early warning signs. Over time, it can become compulsive and dangerous.
For ARFID, restriction may not be intentional, but over time it can result in nutritional deficits, anxiety around eating, and growing food refusal.
Family Dynamics Can Play A Role In Eating Disorders
It’s important to say this again: parents do not cause eating disorders. But certain family dynamics may increase risk, especially when combined with other vulnerabilities. These might include:
High emphasis on achievement, appearance, or control
Low tolerance for emotional expression or conflict
Lack of structure or predictability around meals
Unintentional modeling of dieting or body dissatisfaction
The goal is not to assign fault, but to take an honest look at what patterns may need to shift; without shame or blame. Identifying patterns that may contribute to stress or rigidity can help families make healing changes.
Eating Disorders Are Not a Choice
Regardless of how they develop, eating disorders are not something a child chooses. While certain behaviors may be a way of expressing emotional distress or seeking connection, eating disorders are not about vanity or manipulation—they are serious mental health conditions that require compassionate care.
When we understand the layered causes of eating disorders, we can meet recovery with empathy and clarity. Your child is not broken. And you are not to blame.
Common Myths About What Causes Eating Disorders
There are many misunderstandings about why eating disorders develop. These myths can make it harder for families to get the right support or can leave parents feeling unfairly blamed. Let’s clear up a few of the most common:
“Eating disorders are just about wanting to be thin.”
While body image concerns may play a role, especially in anorexia and bulimia, many eating disorders are more about control, emotional regulation, sensory sensitivity, or trauma than appearance. In ARFID, body image isn’t a factor at all.“It’s the parents’ fault.”
Parents do not cause eating disorders. While family dynamics can influence recovery or stress levels, the root causes are far more complex, involving biology, temperament, and environment.“It starts with social media.”
Social media can be a trigger, but it is not the cause. For children who are already vulnerable, it can amplify existing insecurities, but eating disorders are never caused by one influence alone.“Only girls who are obsessed with dieting get eating disorders.”
Eating disorders affect boys, girls, and gender-diverse kids, and not all are related to weight loss or dieting. ARFID, for example, often develops in young children and has nothing to do with body image.“If there’s no trauma, there’s no eating disorder.”
Trauma is a risk factor, but not a requirement. Many kids with eating disorders have no clear trauma history and other risk factors like perfectionism, anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or genetics can still play a major role.
What Parents Can Do For Their Child With An Eating Disorder
If you're reading this and feeling worried about your child, there are steps you can take right away to support their health and recovery:
Watch for patterns. Keep a log of concerning behaviors or changes like food refusal, body talk, or mood shifts.
Create a nonjudgmental environment. Avoid diet talk, food shaming, or praising weight loss. Focus on health, not appearance.
Prioritize family meals. Shared mealtimes offer structure, emotional connection, and an opportunity to notice subtle changes.
Model body acceptance. Be mindful of how you speak about your own body and food choices.
Start the conversation gently. Express concern without criticism. Use phrases like, “I’ve noticed you seem really anxious at meals. I’m here to help.”
Seek a professional evaluation. You don’t need a formal diagnosis to reach out to a therapist, dietitian, or pediatrician with eating disorder experience.
Even small shifts, like changing how you talk about food or inviting your child to cook a meal with you, can plant seeds of trust and safety around eating. Taking action early doesn’t mean you’re overreacting, it means you’re paying attention, staying involved, and showing your child they matter.
Final Thoughts
There is no single path into an eating disorder, just as there is no single path out. Genetics, temperament, trauma, environment, culture, neurobiology, and life stress all intertwine in ways that shape how eating disorders develop.
But there’s good news: once we understand the “why,” we can begin to address it. With the right treatment, consistent support, and a compassionate, non-blaming approach, recovery is absolutely possible. It is okay if progress feels slow or uncertain. What matters most is that your child knows they’re not alone and that you’re showing up with love, patience, and the willingness to learn alongside them.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start, our free Facebook group, The Parent Support Network for Eating Disorder Recovery, is a supportive space where you can ask questions, share concerns, and connect with others who truly understand.
You don’t have to make sense of this alone. We're here to help.