Is My Child Getting Better? How to Track Progress in Eating Disorder Recovery
When your child is in treatment for an eating disorder, it’s natural to wonder: Is this working? Are we actually getting anywhere? Eating disorder recovery is rarely linear, and progress doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. For many parents, the early stages of treatment are so consuming that there’s little time to pause and reflect. But as things begin to settle—or sometimes when they don’t—it’s important to know what to look for.
In this post, we’ll walk through the signs that your child may be getting better, how to track progress over time, what setbacks really mean, and when to raise concerns with your treatment team. Whether you're just a few weeks in or many months into recovery, this guide will help you feel more grounded and informed.
Why Progress in Eating Disorder Recovery Is Hard to Measure
Eating disorders are complex illnesses that affect physical health, emotional regulation, social functioning, and identity. Because of this, “getting better” can mean many different things—and not all signs of healing are visible from the outside. Your child may be weight-restored but still deeply entrenched in disordered thinking. Or they may still struggle with food, but begin opening up emotionally in new ways.
Additionally, some aspects of recovery can look worse before they get better. As eating disorder behaviors are interrupted, anxiety often increases. It’s not uncommon for a child to become more irritable, rigid, or emotionally reactive in the early phases of recovery. This doesn’t mean things are failing—it may actually mean the eating disorder is losing its grip.
Healing also doesn’t follow a neat timeline. Some kids stabilize quickly and plateau later. Others show slow but steady change over months. It’s important to stay curious and zoom out—progress often becomes clearer in retrospect.
Physical Markers of Progress (Are Not the Whole Story)
While physical restoration is only one piece of recovery, it’s still an essential foundation. The brain and body need adequate nutrition and stability before emotional healing and cognitive change can take hold.
Here are some signs your child may be making physical progress:
Consistent weight restoration (if applicable to their treatment goals)
Improved vital signs (heart rate, blood pressure, temperature)
Return of menstruation or hormonal regulation
Increased energy and less fatigue
Improved digestion and reduced GI symptoms
More regular hunger and fullness cues
Less obsessive focus on food or eating rituals
But a word of caution: weight restoration alone is not full recovery. A child can appear physically healthy while still experiencing intense emotional distress or secretive behaviors. That’s why it’s crucial to monitor other aspects of recovery too.
Behavioral Signs of Healing
Changes in daily behaviors often provide some of the clearest signs of recovery. These don’t always happen quickly, but over time, you may notice shifts in how your child interacts with food, people, and the world around them.
Signs your child may be making behavioral progress:
Increased willingness to eat challenging foods
Reduced rigidity around food choices, timing, or preparation
Fewer compensatory behaviors (e.g., purging, over-exercising, restricting)
Decreased body checking or mirror checking
Less need for reassurance or permission to eat
More ability to sit with distress during meals
Greater participation in meals or snacks with others
Outside of eating, behavior change may look like:
Improved sleep routines
Returning to school or social activities
Increased independence in age-appropriate areas
Greater flexibility with plans or unexpected changes
Reduced avoidance of previously feared situations (e.g., wearing a swimsuit, going out to eat)
These changes often happen gradually. Keep in mind that some progress may come and go—it’s normal for new behaviors to wobble as your child tries them out.
Emotional and Cognitive Signs of Progress
The emotional and psychological aspects of eating disorder recovery are often the slowest to change—but they are just as important as physical restoration. Some signs may be subtle at first but meaningful over time.
Emotional signs of healing include:
More emotional expression (even if it’s anger or sadness—it means they’re feeling)
Better ability to name and regulate emotions
Increased self-reflection or insight
Willingness to talk about feelings, fears, or future goals
Reduced emotional shutdown during hard moments
Cognitive signs of recovery may look like:
Less black-and-white thinking around food, weight, or morality
More openness to challenging beliefs (e.g., “all weight gain is bad”)
Expressing body neutrality or acceptance
Shifting identity away from the eating disorder
Developing values and interests outside of food or appearance
This type of progress can be hard to see day-to-day, especially if your child keeps emotions private. You may need to rely on what they share in therapy—or notice how they talk and behave differently over time.
What Recovery Looks Like for Each Eating Disorder
While the core goals of recovery—physical stability, behavioral change, and emotional healing—are shared across diagnoses, the process can look quite different depending on the type of eating disorder. Here’s what recovery might involve for each.
Anorexia Nervosa
Recovery from anorexia includes:
Weight restoration to a range that supports physical and cognitive functioning
Normalization of eating patterns—three meals and multiple snacks per day without rituals or avoidance
Reduced fear of food and weight gain over time
Reconnection with hunger and fullness cues, often lost during restriction
Less rigidity and more flexibility around routines and perfectionism
Improved body image and distress tolerance, though these changes are often slower and more subtle
Increased social engagement and reduced withdrawal or isolation
Anorexia recovery often requires deep emotional work around control, fear of failure, and identity. It’s not just about gaining weight—it’s about rebuilding trust with food and with one’s body.
Bulimia Nervosa
Recovery from bulimia typically includes:
Cessation of binge/purge cycles, including vomiting, laxatives, and over-exercise
Stabilized eating patterns throughout the day to prevent extreme hunger and binge urges
Fewer triggers for urges, and stronger coping skills when they arise
Reduced shame and secrecy around food and eating behaviors
Healthier relationship with emotions, learning to ride out distress without turning to food
Improved self-worth, independent of appearance or productivity
People in bulimia recovery often move from feeling out of control to developing a greater sense of agency and self-compassion.
Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
BED recovery is about healing both the behavioral cycle and the emotional underpinnings of bingeing. This may include:
Reduced frequency and intensity of binge episodes
Restoration of regular, balanced meals that prevent deprivation
Recognition of emotional triggers, like boredom, loneliness, or stress
Development of alternative coping strategies that don’t involve food
A shift away from diet culture, weight cycling, and restriction
Less guilt and more self-acceptance, especially around body image and food choices
BED recovery is greatly supported by a weight-neutral, compassionate approach that prioritizes emotional wellbeing over weight control.
When Progress Feels Slow (or Nonexistent)
It’s incredibly common for parents to feel unsure whether anything is changing—especially during the “middle” of recovery. Early on, everything feels urgent. But once your child is medically stable and a routine is in place, it can feel like things plateau.
Here’s what to keep in mind:
Recovery is rarely linear. Your child may make huge strides one month, then regress the next. This doesn’t mean treatment has failed—it means the process is unfolding.
Setbacks are part of healing. Expect lapses in behavior, bad days, resistance, and even moments of despair. These are often opportunities for learning.
Some changes are invisible. Just because your child isn’t talking about food less doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it differently. Shifts in thinking can be quiet.
Growth often happens in the messy middle. This is the stage where deeper emotional work begins, and that’s hard—but necessary.
If you feel stuck or unsure, that’s not a failure on your part. It may simply be time to reassess goals or clarify next steps.
How to Talk to Your Treatment Team About Progress
If you’re unsure whether your child is getting better, don’t hesitate to ask your treatment team. You deserve clarity, and your input as a parent is valuable. Recovery isn’t always obvious or fast-moving, so creating open, ongoing conversations with the team can help you feel more grounded and engaged in the process.
Good communication builds trust and ensures that care stays collaborative. While the team brings clinical expertise, you bring daily insight that providers don’t always see—mealtime behavior, sleep, mood, or social engagement. These observations help the team assess how your child is progressing across all areas of life.
Here are some helpful questions to ask during check-ins with your child’s therapist, dietitian, or doctor:
What markers of progress are you seeing in sessions or in the clinic?
Are there any areas where we should adjust our focus or expectations?
What are realistic short-term goals for the next few weeks or months?
How can we tell the difference between a normal setback and a warning sign of relapse?
Are there any specific behaviors, skills, or thought patterns we should reinforce at home?
Is now the right time to reduce supervision, or should we hold steady?
How can we support autonomy while maintaining safety and accountability?
You can also share your own observations to help paint a more complete picture:
“I’ve noticed she’s been avoiding family meals again—what might that mean?”
“He’s been more tearful after therapy lately—should we be concerned, or is that part of the process?”
“They seem calmer at meals but still avoid certain foods—how do we gently challenge that?”
“Sleep and school are going better, but body talk has increased—what does that tell us?”
Remember, you’re not just reporting symptoms—you’re a core part of the treatment team. You see your child in the real world, and your perspective helps ensure that what’s happening outside of therapy is just as prioritized as what’s happening in session.
If you ever feel dismissed or unsure how to interpret a provider’s feedback, it’s okay to ask for clarification. You can say:
“Can you explain what you mean by ‘making progress’? What does that look like day-to-day?”
“What does success look like at this stage of treatment?”
“If we’re stuck, what might help us move forward?”
The more open the conversation, the more aligned your family and the treatment team can be. That alignment makes recovery more sustainable—for your child, and for you.
What If The Eating Disorder Is Not Improving?
Sometimes, despite time and effort, it becomes clear that things aren’t getting better—or may even be worsening. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed or your child isn’t trying. But it may mean a change in treatment (like a higher level of care) is needed.
Signs that treatment may need to shift:
Persistent weight loss or medical instability
Ongoing or escalating eating disorder behaviors
Increasing emotional withdrawal, shutdown, or hostility
Therapy sessions feel stagnant or unproductive
Your child is actively sabotaging recovery efforts
No observable progress after several months of consistent treatment
If this is happening, talk openly with your team about options. This might include:
Reassessing the therapy model or therapist fit
Increasing frequency or intensity of sessions
Involving more family support
Adding a higher level of care (IOP, PHP, residential)
Don’t wait until things become unsafe. Trust your instincts and advocate for adjustments when needed.
How Parents Can Stay Grounded Through the Process
It’s easy to become hyper-focused on your child’s eating, weight, and behaviors. But your ability to stay grounded is one of the most powerful tools in the recovery process.
Here’s how to support your own well-being while tracking progress:
Zoom out. Try not to evaluate recovery on a meal-by-meal basis. Look at the big picture: Are things moving in the right direction overall?
Take notes. A journal or tracker can help you reflect on patterns over time—often, progress becomes clearer when you step back.
Get support. Whether it’s a support group, therapist, or online community, find people who understand what you’re going through.
Celebrate small wins. Recovery is made of a hundred tiny shifts. A new food tried. A hard conversation had. A feeling expressed. These matter.
Allow for mixed feelings. It’s okay to feel scared, frustrated, hopeful, and exhausted all at once. You’re doing something really hard.
Recovery Isn’t Linear
Recovery doesn’t always look like we think it will. It’s messy, nonlinear, and often filled with doubt. But healing is possible—and it doesn’t hinge on perfection. The fact that your child is in treatment, that you’re paying attention, and that you’re asking these questions means you’re already doing something incredibly important.
Keep showing up. Keep asking for support. Keep believing that change is possible, even when it’s slow.
And if you need more guidance, our free Facebook group, The Parent Support Network for Eating Disorder Recovery, is here for you. You don’t have to navigate this alone.